Thursday, November 8, 2007

My Russian Bride

"George says:
I'm gonna have my own paris hilton video
George says:
me eating triscuits and playing wow shot in 'night vision mode'"



So as you all know I have a russian stalker who sent me two messages over the last week and clearly wants to get her hands all over my wallet. What can I say, I'm a sucker for Slavs.

Anyway, I am waiting for her to contact me again before I send her the money it would cost to fly out here, after all her parents are both dead!

Who tells you that? When you first talk to them, within the first paragraph... not only that but she tells me how long ago they died! Like I care, look, as long as they aren't around to mooch off my wealthy estate, allowing me to dote more completely on my lovely russian dancing queen, I'd be pleased as punch.



It makes me wonder... how come I haven't reached out to the mail order bride industry yet? That time is now, seize the day etc!!!

When I was thinking of teaching english in Korea the thought of taking advantage of my height and westerness to score big time was less a selling point and more of a reason to be wary, but now I see the error of my ways. I know better now, what I really need to do is move to Nigeria and marry a princess, therby inheriting the princedom and all the money that I can't touch without YOUR help dear friends.

The real cause of all this distress comes from the culture of the pay to play online dating site. The only people I'd care to meet wouldn't pay, and the only people willing to try and scam the system (the ones that are obviously the real 'catch') are also the ones desperate to sweetype you for your westjet money.

All in all I'd be better off hitting up the local jewish singles mixer... a mitzvah indeed. Maybe I should invite my russian sweetheart to come with, she could pinch a wallet or two while I salt the ol' mine.



"George says:
clearly i now realise I need to respond to this russian mystery woman, it's too funny
George says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_scam"



All black and white photos by Maksim Dmitriev circa 1890.

No comments: