Wednesday, October 22, 2008
vetiver show
M. I just saw a show at Pop Montreal and it was the best of times and the worst of times. This is directed to about a quarter of the crowd at Sala Rosa, those of you who were back by the BAR because you had free passes or something. I don’t know how you got in, but you were not LISTENING to the band. You were just CHATTING. It ruins the show for the three-quarters or four-fifths of the people who are there who actually want to see the show. Every time I go to a Pop Montreal show, it’s the same thing—all these douches from other bands or assholes with week-long passes are back there drinking and chatting. In a lot of ways, it takes away from the performers, which is what Pop Montreal should be all about. So I hope your tongues get cut off and stamped on by GOATS. [BLEEP!]
Monday, October 13, 2008
George vs, the Minivan, an e-mail.
I'm doing just fine, let me give you a play by play.
11:00 arrive at local soccer pitch for charity tournament
2:30 some successful associates on a competing team pull off a cheap goal and beat us, eliminating our team
3:30 after cheering against the successful jerks I get ready to leave
4:10 I am waiting at a red light on st jaques (just past the a&w), contemplating why it is that opportunists succeed in life
4:11
the light turns green
I begin to move forward on my bike, I'm on the sidewalk
meanwhile...
a mini van has advanced towards the red light I am waiting at
the light turns green before he slows down too much / reaches intersection
he accelerates into a right turn
then:
I see the minivan in my periphery
I have two successive thoughts:
1) That minivan is cheating into it's turn a little too closely and I have every right to be upset about this encroachment on my space
2) That minivan is going way to fast to just encroach
Blam.
My eyes close
Minivan hits the back half of my bike and my left ankle
My forward momentum coupled with the force of contact from the minivan throws me off the bike, to my right
My years of skateboarding and 2 years of childhood judo allow me a bonus saving throw to falls which succeeds
My body does some type of adjustment in mid air
I hit cement on my left haunch, followed quickly by my left elbow that smashes the ground and directs me into a roll
I end up on my side about 10 feet from the point of impact
Pain
Worse than any pure falling damage I've ever felt before, but missing the blinding shocking pain of a breaking ankle. I could tell right away that my legs and arms still worked, and my brain is doing ok too
George: "Faaaaaaahhhhhckkk!!!!!"
Minivan Passenger: "[need anything]?"
George: "Call the ambolance(sic).. aaaarrrghhhhh"
Not sure if my back is on the edge of more serious damage I try and keep still, lying on the cement.
A witness is also a paramedic:
Holds my head in place
Checks my vital signs
Has a nice voice
I'm shaking a bit uncontrollably as the shock/pain really kicks in, another witness has an emergency blanket.
Ambulance arrives shortly after police
Police take my bike and scattered belongings and I can hear a whiff or two of them taking statements
Ambulance shove me on back immobilization board
Drive to hospital:
Bumpy
Hospital:
Admitted, priority: not immediate.
On immo. board on gurney staring at emergency room corridor ceiling
My back, I decide, is fine. Being immobilized for so long is causing my whole body to stiffen up. This is making it more painful, head brace is making me claustrophobic.
Notes on immo. device:
immobilization device could use a movable ergonomic lumbar pad
remove metal piece that is digging into the back of my head
make board longer, my ankles are hanging off the edge and it is digging into my achillies tendon
Overheard:
[While being wheeled into the emergency room]
Unknown Male: "They are falling like apples today"
George: "I'm not an apple!"
Unknown guy pushing my cart: "[On nice days like this there are more accidents]"
(It was a lovely day)
[While in the hallway]
[Anxious Lady from Toronto who fell off her bike and broke her elbow informs nurse that she takes a pill for anxiety, then proceeds to lose her shit in the waiting room of the x-ray spot]
X-rays report: negative
Pain: positive
Walking: laboured
Thanksgiving dinner, cold, with brother from out of town and parents after a near death experience: unbelievably valuable
Spotting a wastoids/faser tag on a lamppost box while lying on the cement in great pain:
priceless?
Postscript:
Not sure how my bike is doing.
11:00 arrive at local soccer pitch for charity tournament
2:30 some successful associates on a competing team pull off a cheap goal and beat us, eliminating our team
3:30 after cheering against the successful jerks I get ready to leave
4:10 I am waiting at a red light on st jaques (just past the a&w), contemplating why it is that opportunists succeed in life
4:11
the light turns green
I begin to move forward on my bike, I'm on the sidewalk
meanwhile...
a mini van has advanced towards the red light I am waiting at
the light turns green before he slows down too much / reaches intersection
he accelerates into a right turn
then:
I see the minivan in my periphery
I have two successive thoughts:
1) That minivan is cheating into it's turn a little too closely and I have every right to be upset about this encroachment on my space
2) That minivan is going way to fast to just encroach
Blam.
My eyes close
Minivan hits the back half of my bike and my left ankle
My forward momentum coupled with the force of contact from the minivan throws me off the bike, to my right
My years of skateboarding and 2 years of childhood judo allow me a bonus saving throw to falls which succeeds
My body does some type of adjustment in mid air
I hit cement on my left haunch, followed quickly by my left elbow that smashes the ground and directs me into a roll
I end up on my side about 10 feet from the point of impact
Pain
Worse than any pure falling damage I've ever felt before, but missing the blinding shocking pain of a breaking ankle. I could tell right away that my legs and arms still worked, and my brain is doing ok too
George: "Faaaaaaahhhhhckkk!!!!!"
Minivan Passenger: "[need anything]?"
George: "Call the ambolance(sic).. aaaarrrghhhhh"
Not sure if my back is on the edge of more serious damage I try and keep still, lying on the cement.
A witness is also a paramedic:
Holds my head in place
Checks my vital signs
Has a nice voice
I'm shaking a bit uncontrollably as the shock/pain really kicks in, another witness has an emergency blanket.
Ambulance arrives shortly after police
Police take my bike and scattered belongings and I can hear a whiff or two of them taking statements
Ambulance shove me on back immobilization board
Drive to hospital:
Bumpy
Hospital:
Admitted, priority: not immediate.
On immo. board on gurney staring at emergency room corridor ceiling
My back, I decide, is fine. Being immobilized for so long is causing my whole body to stiffen up. This is making it more painful, head brace is making me claustrophobic.
Notes on immo. device:
immobilization device could use a movable ergonomic lumbar pad
remove metal piece that is digging into the back of my head
make board longer, my ankles are hanging off the edge and it is digging into my achillies tendon
Overheard:
[While being wheeled into the emergency room]
Unknown Male: "They are falling like apples today"
George: "I'm not an apple!"
Unknown guy pushing my cart: "[On nice days like this there are more accidents]"
(It was a lovely day)
[While in the hallway]
[Anxious Lady from Toronto who fell off her bike and broke her elbow informs nurse that she takes a pill for anxiety, then proceeds to lose her shit in the waiting room of the x-ray spot]
X-rays report: negative
Pain: positive
Walking: laboured
Thanksgiving dinner, cold, with brother from out of town and parents after a near death experience: unbelievably valuable
Spotting a wastoids/faser tag on a lamppost box while lying on the cement in great pain:
priceless?
Postscript:
Not sure how my bike is doing.
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