Holy shit!

That's the kind of expression that these feelings bring forth.
Like, head in hands, staring at the floor, whispering 'Holy Shit' to myself.


HOWEVER


This all fell apart umm.. well, it ended with an email, about 2 months ago.

Anyway, what I want to remind myself is that today is easier than 2 months ago.

Yet right now I am dying to contact her. I would like her to come back to me, or to step on my heart with a stiletto while spitting in my eye. Hahaha, I'm looking at these emails and she's talking about moving on... sigh...

All I want to do is to be with her. yet while I was with here I was nothing... she wouldn't see me on Valentine's day, and she knows I am a cheeseball who loves valentines...

our last contact was actually only a month and a half ago...

I recorded a song for her which I never sent. I feel like that will be my last word on the matter.


ARRRRGHHHHH