When you talk that way, my friends

Openly, knowing someone cares to see it, you mention suicide, it makes me afraid for you. I am there for you, like a brother would be. I really hope it works out for the best, but she'll be gone again, and she is young, just remember that. I don't know what to say, try and play it off with a joke, but I am serious, and afraid you mean it, and might convince yourself one day. There will be awful days, and you are very convincing... shit is ill. You need to get out more, and be forced into that thing you will find

You have a daughter, and she is like a second chance, but you're like me, doomed to repeat the same things over and over, digging well past the topsoil, clawing against stones. I hear you wish for strength, but you are one of the strongest that I know, without trying. It's the trying that screws it all up. Just do it naturally. There's no need to go so far away, I tried that, it didn't work

You're so busy that you can't even reply, your job, your girlfriend, whatever it is that you are doing, and you can't even tell me... It is so easy to write an agenda, a journal, a play by play... I saw you at the art store with her, and couldn't approach you for a reason I couldn't explain, I thought you would understand, I was like the butcher boy, I thought you said you loved that movie, I thought you would take the time to ask me why, how, how I could be afraid to approach you, but I guess you thought it was weird, I guess high school was a long time ago, I guess we all need to move on... I'm sorry I kept contacting you, eliciting an eventual reply, in passing, it was worse than not hearing from you at all...