New trick: I can use the program we write up bugs in to write text that I then copy/paste over to notepad when I have a minute and no one is looking.
The whole structure of the quality assurance department here at bioware is unconvincing and when it exhibits itself in more than the undercurrents of distrust and weariness and instead appears irrevocably to me the feeling of disgust that runs over me is both intolerable and freeing. In this case my boss, who you might note is a month younger than me, commenting about how if we make money than they make money and everyone is making money and some other horseshit he spouts randomly. In a vastly diluted sense the experience of working in an unsatisfying environment parallels the prisoner's experience. In the sense of what a prisoner
might feel when their loss of freedom dawns on them. With a crappy job though there is just enough time off, the evenings and weekends, that serve to reset the 'dawning on' you feeling, so that you may freely experience it over and over. Maybe by actualizing the experience in writing about it I might somewhat dismiss it's effects. At least I haven't given in to resignation, about my work at least. There are the bonds of economics for example, I must eat therefore I must work.
Not that there isn't any number of other things I could be doing to provide that 'food', most of those jobs are likely worse than this one. I guess I'm the sort of person who... let's face it, in a million ways I am a lazy bastard. I'm not kidding myself. I do, however, know a few other things about myself, and would like to find a job that at least satisfies those two or three things...
I was thinking that the only thing that I've ever done which I have no doubt about, that I would stake my reputation on under god, is my faser loopy one-line tag.
that is the pinnacle of my life so far, and everytime I get one off properly I feel bliss...
So, to summarize, I need to get paid for occasionally doing my tag
Thursday, November 15, 2007
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